So I'm laying here in bed. Really hurting. I really don't want to get up and face the day tbh. I have this deadline set for me and I don't want it to come. I'm losing the life I want, the man in my life.

For the past 4 years I have loved and supported this man. How can he be so quick to want to walk away from that? People have tried to explain this to me time and time again and I guess it's just not clicking. When does it no longer become enough? Why can't I be enough? I keep doing as I do and then it comes back in my head, how can you not want this? I see him with my boys, how can he not want to be a part of them? And I lose it... Austin doesn't understand it. He is hurting and it KILLS me seeing him struggle. My boys love him SO much. Why? Why is this happening???